A question we all ask at some point is the meaning of life. What purpose does our fleeting existence serve?I don’t believe there is an answer. In fact, I believe that life is no different than a hammer or car. Life is not dependent on what we do, in fact it couldn’t care what we do with it. The only thing that matters is if we believe life is worth living. This is why I push the topics some “simplists” such as Zen Habits. Too often we pursue giving our lives goals and rewards. We measure our happiness with the stuff we have, the money we have, and the experiences we have.
We as humans are weak, and it takes very little to get us caught up in our own devices. Our thirst for input can lead to non-stop TV or movie watching or an internet addiction. We work ourselves to the edge, only to spend our money on pointless spoils. These things take our time, and energy from pursuing who we are. We convince ourselves that without these things, we are worthless (literally worth less). We set our traps for when we lose our security, and can no longer maintain our “necessities”.
That is as much philosophy as I will state today. Right now I look at the uphill battle I have to wage to get back on top. My struggles have no one to blame except the circumstances affecting me and my choices. I could try to blame others or some deity, but in the end ultimately I am the only one who get myself back on top. My happiness comes from being able to plan, and knowing that I will continue to move forward.
The next few months are to be difficult. I am in my last month of job searching, I have to find a new car, and I have to find a decent living situation. Without these things my year’s goals are unattainable.
Ideally at the end of the year I will find myself back making $45K a year, in a house shared with 4 or so other people, and back to participating in LAN parties, game board nights, and star parties. My trust is not in these goals, but the knowledge I already have that I will have my happiness.